Getting Personal

So, late at night, when the moon is high... Nope, not that kind of personal, you perverts. I'm talking personal ads today! You know the sort, match.com, eharmony, yahoo! whatever. Who are the people using these sights and why are there so many successes?

True story, a friend of mine, no really I swear, signed up with one of them years ago, I think it was eharmony, but I digress. She signs up, spends like $50 she didn't have (have I mentioned this chica was freshly divorced with two little ones? Those people should never have extra money). Anyway, once again, I'll get on track. She does this, calls me all the time telling me that Mr.X emailed her or that Mr. Y wants to meet. Two weeks later, she meets this guy IRL, they hook up, get engaged... break up, but that's another story. My question is how did this chicklet entice all these men?

Match.com boasts 200,000 hook ups per year. That's a hell of a lot of fate. So, here's my take: it's not fate. It may not even be real. What you've got is two people both wanting something, this thing called love so bad, they'll pay to find it. Both people filling out checklists saying they want a short-term, long-term or married thing.

Imagine if you will meeting superbabe in a bar. Instead of "that dress will look great on my floor in the morning" he says "My name's Babe, I make 75,000 per year, want 3 kids, a dog, a cat, one wife and a beach house. I'm athletic/slender, never married,and keep fleas as pets. I don't smoke, drink or swear. I've had two relationships in the past year, both less than three months." By the way, the flea thing? Straight off the match.com profile (hey, you can pull it up without entering your name, don't judge me, this is research).

You've just skipped about 5 dates, without the sex (which we all know is the best part of a new thing).

Now, it sounds like I'm being harsh, but I'm not. It's a great idea, if you want formulaic love. If you're tired of the chase, of being hurt. Or if you don't meet many people or don't know how to talk to them. But what about those of us who are still a bit romantic at heart?

I know, me, the romantic cynic. I can't help it. I don't think I'll ever find love, but I like to hope. And, despite my love of cold hard logic, I don't want a computer to pick out my Wonderboy, I want to find him all by myself.

To those of still searching the bars, theatres, even the groceries: good luck, but stay away from my Wonderboy, whomever he is. To the rest of you, you logical, rational people: call me and I'll dance at your wedding.