But you're my best friend!

Those are quite possibly the most painful words in the English language.

What? You want to know why I'm so maudlin? Well, chicas I was talking to an old friend today and he was telling me all about the "girls" he's currently involved with -- the random makeouts, the one who's making him jump every time the phone rings -- and it took me back.

Back to that one moment, when I'm staring at the most beautiful boy in the world. The boy who's just told me he simply has to talk to me, making my heart do stupid little flippy things. And then he tells me that because he loves me, he wants my opinion. My heart stops flipping, stops beating as it waits. And then he says, "So, is it too soon to ask (insert name of evil one here) to marry me? Do you think I'm rushing it? I really want an honest opinion, here and you're my best friend."

Let me tell you, boys, this isn't the compliment you think it is. In fact it's one step up from saying, "well, you're not thin, but you're still cute". It's one of those statements that make us think of running pencils through your brain stems just to see if it actually kills you or if you've stopped using the organ long ago. It's the epitome of you're like my sister or I don't love you that way -- but said so much more innocuously that it's almost impossible to hate the speaker. So instead you hate yourself just a bit more.