Here we go again. So I'm researching my next big thing (the one coming up after Lights, Camera, Love...?), and sadly, spending way too much time browsing the personals. Yeah, the personals. In the interest of making my life easier, here are some quick tips on creating the perfect profile:
1- Don't assume you're hot. Okay, let's face it, if you were all that and a bag of chips, more than likely you wouldn't have the free time to be shopping online. Be honest. I mean, if your pic has a pornstache, you're not "the great American god".
2- Don't pose with your kid! Okay, I know all of you parents out there are kid happy and that's great. Really. But I don't want to see your head obscured by some cute little munchkin. I promise you my biological clock isn't ticking that loudly.
3- The word is WRITE, not wright, not right. "I don't know what to write here." Well, if you can't even write that correctly, just go away. Far away. Or at least get a proofreader!
4- Don't advertise that you live with your parents. Yes, we've all been there -- but let's not point that out first. That's something you drop on a girl on the second date... honest. If she cares, she'll ask before that, I promise.
5- Don't post your ugliest picture and then say you want "a tight girl with a hot face"... see #1.
6- Don't always be yourself. At least not completely. Try to remember that dating is like a good mystery. Give the reader a taste (ew! not that way), and make them want more. DON'T LIE, just don't admit you still need a nightlight BEFORE you show off your mad scrabble skills or ability to quote massive amounts of movie dialogue.
Lead with your strengths, people. And that's it... just be honest, have fun and for the love of God, wear a shirt in your profile pic!
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